by Sheriff Mustaph

Here are a number of useful phrases you can use at work...

1. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

2. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist. 

3. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. 

4. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental. 

5. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care. 

6. I like you. You remind me

LAND LORD LETTER..

1. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared.

2. I want some repairs done to my stove as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.

3. This is to let you know that there is a smell coming from the man next door.

4. The toilet seat

ROUGH DAY..

You wake up face down on the pavement.

You put your bra on backward and it fits better.

You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold.

You see a "60 Minutes" news team waiting in your office.

Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.

You want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party last night, and there aren't any.

You turn on the news and they're showing emergency routes out of the city.