Create a Self-Love "Curriculum"

Lack of self-esteem can grab hold in times of stress and challenge, and self-loathing is fueled by exhaustion and hopelessness. Self-love can be reborn by making a commitment to add life-affirming activities to daily life. It is crucial that we nourish ourselves--body, mind, and spirit. This does not mean going to a spa every few years. It has to be blended into our lifestyles and treated with as much importance as a doctor's appointment or worship service.

Many of us are very generous with those around us. We give of ourselves to friends, family, coworkers. We twist ourselves into pretzels to accommodate the needs of others. But when it comes to ourselves, we can be stingy.

 
The First Step:

Chart a course to improved self-image that stimulates all the senses. This will fill you with a sense of hopefulness and potential! Make a list of 10 things that will enhance your feelings of self-esteem. Incorporate everything from meditation and prayer, to taking yourself out on dates, to activities that bring you joy, and enhance your well-being on all levels. Above all, "follow your bliss"!

Replace Self-Defeat with Self-Love

Being kind to yourself is a healthy habit to get into. Work to release feelings of regret, angst, fear, and anxiety, and instead fill up with love, joy, possibility, and spirit. For example, does your current morning meditation include sipping coffee while berating yourself for a goof-up at work, worrying about something that happened between you and a friend, or giving yourself guilt because of that chocolate cake you ate? If someone else were beating up on you the way you beat up on yourself, you'd fight back. In this case, you have to learn to fight the urge to defeat your own purpose in life and replace repetitive, negative thinking with that which uplifts you heart and soul.

The First Step:

Begin with a prayer to be filled with Divine Presence and possibility--positive, hopeful thoughts and ideas. Create a new intention that if you slip into negative self-talk you will switch your focus. Try a special mantra or affirmation that can redirect your energy. Some possibilities to get you started: I am one with God. I am a good person. Light fills my being. I radiate good energy and thoughts.

Open Your Heart

We may say we want love, success, and happiness, but we don't always back up our dreams with self-honoring actions. Without self-love, we have no foundation to uphold or contain love, self-esteem, and true potential. Someone can love you with more heart than you ever imagined, but where will it go if you have no internal mechanism for recognizing pure love? The universe can shower you with opportunities, but you will miss the best plums on the tree because you won't think you deserve to reach for them.

The First Step:

Take 10 to 20 minutes every morning to meditate to a piece of music that feels heart-opening to you. One that I like is this moving and soul-stirring chant. "Open My Heart," by Ana Hernandez and Ruth Cunningham, from their CD HARC: Inside Chants.