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First things first. The Martini is to be respected. It is a complex yet simple to make classic that is meant to be savored, not chugged or “shot.” A Martini, or a Dry Martini, to be more precise, is composed of Gin, Dry Vermouth and Orange Bitters. No more, no less. If exotic flavors that help mask the alcohol as you attempt to sneak it past your tongue are more your thing, then the Martini is not for you. If you are a Martini person or wish to become one, here are five rules to live by.

Oh, while we’re on the respect-the-Martini note, let me add: no words should ever precede Martini on a menu other than classic or dry. And if the menu you are reading uses “-tini” as a suffix (“Appletini,” for instance) just get a Scotch on the Rocks. Or better yet, run.

1. Martinis aren’t made from vodka like bacon isn’t made from turkey. That’s not to say that a cold glass of vodka can’t be pleasant; just don’t call it a Martini. Did you really think they went to the trouble to name a cold glass of vodka?

2. James Bond had it wrong. He was trying to be flashy and distracting; he was not trying to get the best drink possible because