For many people the choice to have children feels less like a choice and more like a entry into adulthood, a beginning of a family, a celebration of life. A young child sees his or her parents as someone who is powerful and even omnipotent. As children grow many anticipate the day they will become a parent and teach their child how to ride a bike, bake a cake, or how to play a sport.

As children grow older they continually assess the environment in which they live. They discover what childhood memories they want to repeat and what memories they want to change. Dylan Smith, a 10 year old boy, loved going on a vacation with his family every summer. Sometimes he thought about how much fun it would be when he became a dad and could take his kids on a summer vacation. Dylan also thought about how his dad refused to let him play soccer and instead wanted him to play football. Dylan made a promise to himself that when he has children he will let them choose what activities they want to participate in.

The choice to have children is a first step in the process of becoming a parent. Ellen Galinsky author of the book, "The Six Stages of Parenthood", said that "Awaiting the birth of a child is strangely similar to the time before entering a new junior high, before moving, before getting married."..."Life will now be measured into eras: before and after this birth". She says the images we make as expecting parents are similar to the images we made when we were children. These images are a type of rehearsal where we assess our own experiences as a child with our parents, the way our friends parent their children, the type of parent our neighbors seem to be, and how the culture we live in defines parenthood.

Trend in America

The majority of American women still choose to have at least one child; however, the gap between those who have a child and those who remain childless is closing. In the 1970's one and ten American women did not have a child. The current trend reported by the Pew Research Center in 2010 found nearly one and five American women to be childless.

A series of debates, articles, and commentaries in 2010 centered on research findings that found that being a parent did not necessarily make a person happier. Many studies found that people without children often reported being more satisfied with their life than people with children. A childless woman by choice said at 48 years old that she was "repulsed by dolls growing up except for Barbie, who had a glamorous life with fabulous clothes, a cute guy, and no kids". This woman said she always knew she never wanted to have children.

The choice to have children is one of the most important decisions many of us will make. Parenting, especially young children, is a mixed bag of joy and stress. Having children often requires us to become less self-centered, less active in our adult world, less focused on our own sense of well-being, and less able to continue our hobbies and interests. Although at first these losses might seem negative, many positive experiences can occur when we are less self-focused, more in tune with children, and more interested in helping a child cultivate his or her own hobbies and interests.

Today in the United States there is less support for parents by their own family members than there has been throughout history. After World War II the emphasis shifted from multigenerational family living toward nuclear family living. There are various reports that during the 1970's there was a type of generational war. Retired adults were moving away to retirement villages and young families with young children were determined to independently raise their own family. There is some evidence that there is a slight trend toward the return of extended familymembers living together; although, most American families still function from a type of nuclear family model. So the question remains, "Why do we choose to have children?"