"No White Flag Above My Door": The Value of Romanc

The Healing Powers of Sex
How sexual intimacy can help in the management of chronic pain.


The most common advice on how to approach sex when you suffer from chronic pain is...carefully. The typical message is that intimacy is challenging and uncomfortable but ultimately worth it for the sake of the relationship. However, this advice neglects evidence that sexual intimacy may reduce pain which means that chronic pain may be more reason, not less, to engage in sensual acts.

Of course when your body hurts, you may not feel particularly sexy. You may fear further discomfort, making you reluctant to experiment. The following research findings may serve as an aphrodisiac, or at least encourage people to overlook current pains for the promise of pleasure.

My first search for support of the "sex helps" thesis was unsuccessful. Googling "sex" and "chronic pain" yielded many results—but nearly all focused on the inevitable difficulties that arise when one partner suffers from a chronic condition. However, I divided the search into two separate questions: (1) what happens when you have sex? and (2) How may this affect chronic pains? And I found a completely different story.

Sex apparently unleashes a bevy of chemical compounds into the brain, starting with oxytocin, otherwise known as the bonding or cuddle hormone. Studies show oxytocin levels become elevated in women during childbirth and breastfeeding, as well as in fathers who are involved with their partners and babies. Oxytocin similarly increases with sensual touch between adults, and peaks