Setting Goals and ... Michael's Challenge 2
Hi, Gerry James here to take up Michael's Challenge 2: creating a post about Goals. Thank you Michael for another bit of fun and a fantastic tool for all new FanBoxers! I've set some suggested tag words in bold and blue.
So here's my submission for Challenge 2:
There's A Secret To Goal-Setting that Superstars Know
Do you hate setting
goals? Look at all the people at New Years. They set
Resolutions or
Goals and have learned to expect
failure. Almost everyone is out of the running by April.
If "rules were meant to be broken", it seems "goals are meant to fail".
None of us likes failure.
Here's the problem. Most of us evaluate our "goal" in
win-loss terms. My goal is to "win". My earnings will be 1 Gazillion dollars (win), my speech evaluation will be an A (win), my team will crush the competition (win)....
We set only
"outcome" goals and the minute we do, we have set ourselves up for limited results. We either win or lose. And our wins are exaggerated. We
must be the best, top of the heap... or, we've lost. This type of either-or, black or white thinking puts us under a lot of pressure. No wonder we lose steam fast. And since "lost' means we are failures we are easily overcome by feelings of loss, dissappointment and depression. Who wouldn't avoid that?
Coaches want you to have goals because ... if you don't know where you're going how are you ever going to get there? Ever played darts or pin the tail on the donkey? Line up your sights and you can pretty well put that dart or tail where it belongs. But blindfold you, turn you around 3 times to disorient you and tell you that if you don't get it right on the bulls-eye or the hindquarters you've lost your salary for a year ... you can't see your target (goal) and you're not going to risk playing.
Perhaps most damaging, when you set up your goals as win/lose ultimatums, you put your happiness and satisfaction with your
performance in the hands of others. You're asking evaluation based on
outcome, regardless of
5 Comments
Excellent work Gerry! I love it when others take the ball and run with it so to speak. :-) Excellent teachings here and great use of some really great keyword phrases and tags.
For me personally I like to set small attainable goals which I can easily reach and then I use these successes as a springboard to attaining even bigger goals. I don't personally feel that we fail at any goal because whether or not we reach our desired goals we still learn many lessons along the way while trying or striving to reach them. :-))
I almost wish I didn't bump into this post. Why? because I still think that I failed, since I din't get what I set out to. I want to stay upset and believe that I failed. I think it's because by adopting this thinking, gives me the excuse not to try again. Not sure though. I need to dissect this a little more.
Yes, Gabby, and it can be almost impossible to get oneself out of that kind of stinkin' thinking. I have a good Success Coach here, and as much as I know about coaching and setting goals, I read with a fine tooth comb what she and others teach here and I write her and LISTEN to her advice for me, because it's very hard to step outside yourself and see clearly where you need to sharpen the edges for peak performance.
That's why successful people like Tiger Woods, and Andre Agassi hire private coaches. There's a saying that a lawyer who represents himself has a fool for a client.
So don't feel bad that you have that fire in the belly to win and achieve what you want. That's not what this post is saying at all. I never believe in "settling". This is about taking the pressure off yourself and setting small goals that make your performance do for you what you're after in an effortless way --- and it's best to have a trainer of coach help you identify where you need to improve and then set the proper goals to get you performing at that level.
Let's face it, a budding Tiger Woods may want to WIN tournaments with all his heart and soul, but until he's PLAYING CONSISTENTLY like a tournament winner he's not going to win. And if he is not aware of the performance goals he's setting and reaching, even if he happens to convert some of that raw desire into a win... he will walk away not knowing what exactly got him there and how to repeat it again, and again
So if you're really unhappy with "failing" - what's the point of 'not trying again'? I think what you're really afraid of is Success. -- We can deal with that too. You're at my private training camp at QHL already. I'm your "coach" there and we're about to start a series on Success that will knock your socks off. See you there and you can leave the feeling of failing behind forever!
As usual, excellent post.. I will send my clients to read this!
Excellent post Gerry. I have never been one for setting goals myself but will definitely give this some thought. Thank you.