The marital relationship

Is sex really important in marriage? Has a sex-obsessed society caused Christians to see sex as more important than it is? Or, have Christians reacted against the sex-obsessed society by downplaying how critical sex is for married couples? It seems the church has some of both groups. Who’s right?

Does the Bible address this? Yes! The idea that sex is not important in marriage is the very thing that the Apostle Paul was strongly arguing against in the first part of 1 Corinthians 7. Below we offer a line-by-line examination of this important passage. Scripture in red, our comments in black.

1 Corinthians 7:1 - 7 NKJV

1a Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me:

The Apostle is responding to questions they had written. Based on what Paul says, it is probable that he was answering questions influenced by Gnosticism. Gnostics believed that the way to Salvation was by "secret knowledge" that came from some hidden spiritual source. One group of Gnostics taught that the body and spirit were completely separate, and as such sins of the body did not matter (see 1 Cor 6:13) while another group taught that enlightenment came by denying the body (see Col 2:20 and 1 Tim 4:3 & 6:20). Those in the second camp said that married couples should not have sex, as this would better allow them to learn the secret knowledge.

Paul spent a good deal of time battling Gnosticism, as it was a major heresy in the early church. Being of Greek origin, Gnosticism was especially prevalent in the gentile church.

1b It is good for a man not to touch a woman.

“Not touch” is could be translated as “to fasten one's self to, adhere to, cling to”. In this case the meaning is not just any touch, but sexual touch. Paul is talking about being single and celibate.

2 Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.

Paul tells us (see verse 7) that celibacy is a gift that allows a person to serve the Lord better. He also tells us it's the exception, not the norm. For those not so gifted, marriage is necessary to avoid sexual sin. This idea, that we are commanded to marry to avoid sexual sin, is not popular with today's Christians, but Paul is not ambiguous about this point.

3 Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband.

In the Greek, Paul is saying that we are each owed sex by our spouse (literally a debt that is owed). It's not a favor or an option, it's required by the marriage covenant. In addition, sex is not something we earn; our “right” to sex is positional. Just being a spouse means we are to meet the sexual needs of the person to whom we are married.

4a The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does.

The Greek here is interesting, and not easily explained