The marital relationship

The marital relationship

Physical intimacy in marriage should be a lifestyle, a wide array of activates from full on love making to loving play with just a touch of sexuality on the edge. Here we offer three actives that can be part of your “less than full ....” intimacy.

First, we need to define less than full sex, and that definition differs between men and women.  For women it’s something that does not cause sufficed arousal to cause her to even think of going further. It’s fun, but it’s not foreplay, and she is happy to do it and move on. For men sex-play that does not end in sex is more of a choice because anything done in the nude with one's wife is going to get him thinking about doing more. God made men to respond to the naked female body, and we respond even when sex is not our goal. So:

Wives: please don't let physical signs of arousal make you feel that something was done "just to get sex." If the two of you have full sex regularly, he can enjoy sex play for what it is, and not be upset that it goes no further; however he is going to get turned on none-the-less.

Husbands: please understand that women are not as visual as we are, and nudity alone does not make something a sex act in her mind. It's okay (and uncontrollable) to be aroused by your less than fully clothed wife (even after all these years,  ;) but if you ALWAYS act out on those feelings you will not be blessing her. Learn to enjoy touch and nudity for its own pleasures – and for the freedom it will help her to feel about her nude body.

Elsewhere we've discussed the importance of touch both for physical and mental health, as well as relational and sexual health , but why make a point of being naked? First because nudity is (or is supposed to be) something we only do with our spouse. Naked activities therefore create a sense of bonding by setting them apart from clothed activities we do with others. Second, if the goal is skin contact, then the more skin available, the more contact we can have. The three naked S's are: sleeping, showering, and snuggling.