How to distinguish between love and emotional dependence
The word ‘love’ is perhaps one of the most casually used terms in the English language – so much so that it has become an umbrella term for a whole variety of very different emotions! There is one thing we all agree on – that love is what makes the world go round, and that without it, the world is but a dry empty shell of a place. On the other hand, it is a word we very easily twist around to our own purposes to justify our emotional dependence on a person. If we can learn to distinguish love from emotional dependence and put this distinction into practice, then we make life more beautiful not only for us, but for everyone we come into contact with.
1. Learn to love yourself first
Our remedies oft in ourselves do lie, which we ascribe to heaven.
~William Shakespeare
Often when we are emotionally dependent on someone, we are looking to them as a ‘filler’ to cover over and distract us from unresolved emotional issues in ourselves. In order to truly love someone, we first have to discover and explore what love is, and that means starting with the person you spend the most time with – yourself! We can often name our shortcomings far quicker than our positive qualities, and we are very quick to beat ourselves up for anything we didn’t do to our satisfaction. This all has to change. Try every day to identify your positive qualities and bring them more to the fore and increase them, and when you do make a mistake, try and see it as a ‘work-in-progress’ rather than an absolute failure. When your own self-love and self-respect increases, you are then able to approach relationships with others with much more equanimity.
12 Comments
very good post , thank you for sharing with us here, keep your great work dear.
Thank you asnah for being here
A Blog not Thought Out Clearly as Emotions is not the same Thing as Love. In different Situation Our Emotions do Kick in that don't Require Love. You have Sadness like a Love One Passing Away and You don't Feel Less Love or more Love for the Person that Passed Away. You See a Funny Movie and the Emotion of Laughter Starts and that has Nothing to do with Love. Emotional Support from a Loved One is a different Characteristic of more like a Friendship or a Buddy is their for You that the Presence of Being at Your Side and Talking to You makes You Happy and Feel Good. That is not always Love but a Satisfaction inside the Brain. But the Rest is more Complex.
Love essentially gives us life. So loving people unconditionally gives us life; that I perfectly agree with. But I still think the need to note that when the love we show to others are appreciated in anyway, it gives more vigor to our life than when it is not. For as love gives life; hate somehow gives death.
Thanks once again for your write up, I’m wiser.
greaaaaat
Love and emotion? Yup.....Try to Love and BE loved! one of the best love guidance!!!
nice sharing thx!!!
Ha ha.. that's a great mesage. The most important thing is Love should be real or true. If not, it is like a smoke in the air.
Thank you Jake, for the soul satisfying post on How to distinguish between love and emotional dependence. I agree, one must continually develop the skill of unconditional love and patience. Thanks for having a big heart and thanks for the heads up!
Thanks for your nice comment Eugene
I think love is the basic structure and emotion is a super structure. If basic structure is loose the super structure is a must to be so.
I think love is the basic structure and emotion is a super structure. If basic structure is loose the super structure is a must to be so.
Wow nice clarification...