20 Quick Actions You Can Take Today to Be Great at Your Current or Future Relationship

A list of 20 tried and tested ways  to improve your relationship with your partner.

Remember your first time behind the steering wheel of a car? Or the first time you were in a swimming pool?

You probably fumbled with the whole clutch, gear, accelerator combination or choked up on chlorine water in front of your friends and parents. Sooner than later though you learnt the method and started enjoying it. After a few months the jam-packed market that you always avoided becomes a challenge you love to go through.

Relationships work the same way – struggle first, choke or fail, learn from mistakes and then reap the benefits. It does require us to follow some rules and practice frequently.

You should never settle for an OK relationship, but strive to make it a great one.

The entire list might not apply to you but I am sure you will find plenty of things to make a significant difference.

Action # 1) Find and execute a new or old hobby

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For two people to be with each there should be room for personal growth. Else, life and relationship become monotonous and we start looking in the wrong places to spice things up. It’s not that you haven’t thought about picking up some guitar lessons on the weekend or learn a new language, it’s just that there isn’t enough time or money or energy or room or courage to execute it. I am not asking you to commit your life to this hobby but to take a small first step to start.

I discovered that I liked to write and motivate people through words recently. I admit I am not great at it but I seem to be improving with every new article I write. In fact, I am happy that I am not great at it because then I would start taking it for granted and write lousy stuff that you will never read.

Here’s how I went about putting a plan together to stick to my new hobby:

• Instead of reading about writing in a book I wanted to learn from people who are actually writing well. So I made a list of people who write well and will have a positive influence on my writing.

• I subscribed to their blog, started following them on Twitter and emailed them personally to introduce myself. On a daily basis I learn something new from them and that in turn creates new ideas for me.

• I made a commitment to write once a week when I started and have gradually increased it twice a week now. Not only am I writing about relationships here on MarriageWise blog but about business and inspiration on other sites as well. Since I am passionate about both these topics, working on them become fun. Remember, keep pushing the envelope – you can do more and much better than your mind tells you. Once you take that first step, things automatically start to happen.

• To stay the course I started keeping track of my new hobby in my journal. Only things that are important get measured in my journal and the fact that I am tracking my hobby is a constant reminder of my commitment to it. Every Sunday night, I go through it and make readjust my plan for coming week.

Action # 2) Get healthy together

I love combining and experimenting with new things. If you like to keep yourself busy throughout the day but still want to have a balanced life why not combine a couple of your priorities? I personally find gym pretty boring and am constantly looking for alternatives to still stay in shape.

Here’s a few that have worked well for me:

• Look for healthy recipes that you can incorporate in your diet. I found some really good ones here.

• Leave work an hour early and go for an evening stroll. I am sure you can find a quite road, park, trail close to your house where you both can burn some calories and get fresh air.

• Join a yoga class. Doing yoga corrects your posture and relieves stress. If back pains, inflexibility or low sex drive is spoiling your relationship, yoga can help.

• Smile and joke with each more often.

Studies have shown that happier human beings with active lifestyles have less disease risk. Yes, even I don’t need a study to know that, but it’s a good reminder. When you start taking care of yourself, your confidence builds up and that makes you sexier to your partner. It also builds stamina so that you two can enjoy each other sexually, longer. Come to think of it, sex is also a good way to get healthy together!

Action # 3) Make a combined bucket list and work towards achieving it

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In case you are wondering what a ‘bucket list’ is, it is a list of things you want to accomplish in your lifetime. You can either let life take charge of you or you take charge of your life.

First, figure out what you want out of life and then set goals to achieve it. Make a list of things you would like to do together because you can motivate each other to stay the course. We all slack once in a while, so it’s good that the other person can keep an eye on the goal and help us get back in the game.

Check out ideas for the list here and create one for yourself here.

My personal favourite is to travel another country together. You learn a lot about someone you are with in a foreign land. Their likes and dislikes seem to jump out because we are in a foreign land and outside our comfort zone.

Action # 4) Learn how to be calm in stressful times

Over the years I have been through many stressful situations just like you have I am sure. Here a few things I understand:

• Don’t mix alcohol and argument. It will give you a nasty hangover. Either drink or debate – you decide. I love alcohol, I really do. It lets you forgive your worries and have a good time. So don’t abuse what it’s meant for. You end up bloating things out of proportion with every sip you take and the next thing you know you have officially turned an argument into a fight. If your partner drinks, avoid any kind of arguments and complaints for those few hours. Pick it up the next day.

• You will not be heard by screaming on top of your lungs. Couples try to out do each other in this department, but all it leads to is your neighbors enjoying some free reality show and you getting embarrassed. Make a conscious effort to observe yourself next time you argue. Control your temptation to scream or raise your voice against your partner. Even if they might be wrong doesn’t mean you disrespect them. Besides, you want to be confident when you are arguing and staying calm is one way to show that.

• Stick to the topic of discussion and leave the past where it belongs. It is unfair to bring out buried issues. Why? Well, for starters you will never make any progress if you take one step ahead and one back. Secondly, your partner will not trust you to share personal things because you might use it against them anytime when you find it necessary. Thirdly, it’s just a waste of time. Stick to what the problem is, figure out a way together and move on.

So when going through a stressful time – stay sober, watch your tone and no hitting below the belt.

Action # 5) Find inner peace through spirituality

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We can only make someone happy when we are happy ourselves. This simple logic is very powerful in relationships. I cannot listen, respond, care, inspire and do all those things