On Friendships...

Tips for Maintaining Friendships

Ancient philosophers and scientists agree: strong social ties are a KEY to happiness. You need close, long-term relationships; you need to be able to confide in others; you need to belong; you need to get and give support. Studies show that if you have five or more friends with whom to discuss an important matter you’re far more likely to describe yourself as “very happy.” Not only does having strong relationships make it far more likely that you take joy in life, but studies show that it also lengthens life (incredibly, even more than stopping smoking), boosts immunity, and cuts the risk of depression.

It can be challenging to make the first overtures of friendship (here are some tips for being likable). But once you’ve got the beginnings of a friendship, how do you proceed? How do you keep a friendship going? Here are some strategies that I use:

1. Use Facebook, Twitter, or other social media. One of the biggest obstacles to keeping friendships going is time. It takes time to email, to call, to make plans, to send holiday cards, to remember birthdays. For that reason, I love social media. Some people argue that technology hurts friendships, because it encourages people to stay tapping behind a computer screen rather than see people face-to-face. At the extreme, this is a bad thing, but for me, at least, technology lets me keep in touch with more friends in a wildly more efficient way. I feel more up-to-date, I feel a stronger sense of connection. At the same time…