Life will teach everything

Who is a Gentleman?

There is no equivalent term for 'gentleman' in Tamil. A sage as a householder is known as sanror. Sanror is defined as one who has realised, and has become quiet as a result of that realisation. It is a quasi-religious term, whereas Gentleman is social term of psychological magnificence. It is a European term mostly attributed to the English aristocracy. It is said of the Englishman that he is straightforward which is in contrast to the Frenchman who is frank. The Englishman is a man of action while the Frenchman is one of thought. The stamp of a gentleman is honour. To refrain from causing pain is his outstanding endeavour. One cannot resort to lying if he ever yearns for the title of a gentleman. The gentleness of his soul makes his outer social behaviour one of a gentleman. I shall list several of his attributes as described by many, such as Charles Dickens. Cardinal Newman's long definitions are of special significance. Its full appreciation will emerge when we recollect what others we know in similar circumstances are prone to do.

─       He is mainly occupied in merely removing the obstacles which hinder the free and unembarrassed action of those about him.

                  It means he will readily help others without waiting for others to apply for help.

                  His incapacity to inflict pain and readiness to help are both refined and accurate.

─       In giving, he behaves as one who is receiving.

─       He concurs with the movements of those around him rather than taking initiative.

─       Newman says a gentleman silently confers on others like an easy chair that removes fatigue or a fire that removes cold. He does not make his presence prominent while he serves.

─       A true gentleman avoids all statements that would jar on the sensitivity of others.

─       A clash of opinion, collision of feeling, an attitude of suspicion may thus jar on others.

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