Dating and Courtship - Part 4
God’s Way
Dating and Courtship - Part 2; http://posts.fanbox.com/vsnz3
Dating and Courtship - Part 3; http://posts.fanbox.com/pcpz3
Countless millions of shattered families began with wrong dating habits. These habits made proper courtship impossible. And the results have been tragic. The almost universal effects of modern dating demonstrate widespread ignorance, even on the most basic points of right dating. Almost no one understands the real purpose of dating or of the courtship that can ensue. The next step, achieving a happy marriage, then also becomes impossible. There is a right way to date! What is it? And there are right and wrong people to date. How can you know the difference? It is time to unlearn the wrong principles, acquired from society—and to learn and apply God’s true principles, leading to happy marriages and families! Presenting God’s perspective, this book reveals those principles.
Chapter Four –
ESTABLISHING THE RIGHT FOUNDATION
Every engineer and architect understands the importance of a building’s foundation. To construct a huge skyscraper in the middle of a city, experienced engineers would first examine the land, before planning, let alone laying, the foundation. The bigger the structure, the stronger the foundation required to support it. Miscalculation can lead to disaster. Therefore, every precaution is taken to make sure that it is built correctly. Otherwise, an enormous amount of money and effort would be spent in vain.
Why do billions of people seem unable to apply the same principle to their own lives, especially when so much is at stake? Marriage, in a sense, is the second biggest “building” in one’s life (next to salvation), yet few see the importance of laying a right foundation—or any foundation—under it. Sadly, no school of marital architecture or engineering is teaching how to do this.
Necessity of a Good Foundation
Jesus was a carpenter. This meant that He understood the importance of carefully laying a right foundation before starting a building’s actual construction. He knew what this first step meant to the building process and later stability of the structure. In Luke, using this analogy, He described the man who “…built a house, and digged deep, and laid the foundation on a rock: and when the flood arose, the stream beat vehemently upon that house, and could not shake it: for it was founded upon a rock.” He contrasted this with “…he that hears, and does not, is like a man that without a foundation built a house upon the earth [Matthew’s account says “sand”]; against which the stream did beat vehemently, and immediately it fell; and the ruin of that house was great” (6:48-49).
The world does not understand that proper dating and courtship form the rock-solid foundation that every marriage must stand on. Instead, most unconsciously build marriages on little more than emotional and psychological sand! When troubles come into marriages—as they invariably do—failure results because they are improperly anchored. So many couples are unnecessarily swept away by “floods” for which they were never prepared.
How many years are required to build a towering skyscraper? Including clearing the worksite, digging and pouring the foundation alone can often take many months, or even a year. Likewise, it takes much time and effort to build a successful, solid relationship. And this also does involve first clearing the “worksite”—unlearning all of the wrong knowledge upon which your understanding of selecting a mate is founded.
Most human beings live their lives guided by feelings, and many times by mere momentary impulse. Using their own logic and experience, countless couples do not realize that absolute destruction lies ahead. What “seems right” can lead to the “death” of a marriage (Prov. 14:12).
Another important aspect of this analogy is that the foundation is not often noticeable. When standing amid a neighborhood full of houses, foundations are not easily seen. In a city, the huge concrete pillars that go deep into the ground under the skyscrapers are concealed. The same is true of dating, courtship and other areas of our lives. Often, we may not see the foundation, but it is critically important!
In the first stages of a relationship, when one is having a good time, all can seem wonderful. On the surface, a relationship founded on lust and infatuation is often hard to distinguish from one based on true biblical principles. Infatuation often comes disguised as true love, and few can—or will—see the difference. Nevertheless, the relationship built on infatuation is almost certain to collapse (and often so will some of the many lives directly connected to it), and usually very quickly, while the one built on true love will not.
Often, statements like, “They were so in love” or “I was there with them the evening they fell in love, and I knew it would be forever,” could be made by friends or family. But all those involved—participants and observers—were blind to the importance of a solid foundation.
Happy marriages do not come about by chance! Success requires much work and patience, and preparation must start before beginning to date. And the foundation of true marital success has several components.
Understanding the True God
There is no book in the Bible titled “How to Date, Court and Marry.” Nor are there specific chapters or verses with the words “date” or “court.” As a result, many professing Christians resort to their own beliefs and feelings on this matter. Yet, there are attributes of God, and very critical elements of His laws and principles, that must be understood to form a proper foundation in order to realize a happy and abundant life.
The world is ignorant of the true God and His laws. This is why so many ask themselves, “Who or what is God?” Because God
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