Dating and Courtship - Part 3
God’s Way
Dating and Courtship - Part 2; http://posts.fanbox.com/vsnz3
Countless millions of shattered families began with wrong dating habits. These habits made proper courtship impossible. And the results have been tragic. The almost universal effects of modern dating demonstrate widespread ignorance, even on the most basic points of right dating. Almost no one understands the real purpose of dating or of the courtship that can ensue. The next step, achieving a happy marriage, then also becomes impossible. There is a right way to date! What is it? And there are right and wrong people to date. How can you know the difference? It is time to unlearn the wrong principles, acquired from society—and to learn and apply God’s true principles, leading to happy marriages and families! Presenting God’s perspective, this book reveals those principles.
Chapter Three –
LUST AND INFATUATION—THE WRONG FOUNDATION
Satan has counterfeited virtually all aspects of God’s Way. Think for a moment. Everyone understands the crime of forgery. A forger’s goal is to create a counterfeit that is indistinguishable from the original. For example, if one is going to make twenty-dollar bills, it would make no sense to produce forgeries that will not be accepted.
Consider. If you want to counterfeit Christianity, you would not offer Buddhism. You offer something that looks, feels and seems to be Christianity. It must appear to be Christianity to the undiscerning eye.
The Bible describes three forms of real—true—love. To confuse and trap the unsuspecting, the devil has produced counterfeits to these, which, among other things, form a faulty foundation for dating today.
Let’s now closely examine one of the biggest counterfeits produced by the greatest “forger” of all time.
True Love?
Various definitions and misconceptions about love abound. Some feel that it is devotion, others feel that it is sexual passion, and still others feel that it is affection. Then there are those who feel that it is adoration, or respect, or caring, or admiration or even warm feelings. Still others see it in poetic terms—or as a mystery that cannot be explained.
So then, what is love?
By looking at so many bad marriage results—separation, divorce, and the endless cycle of cohabitation for those who at one point thought they were “in love”—it is evident that the world simply does not understand true love. The problem is that so many initially felt that a relationship was right, when it was not. So many thought that they were in love, only to find out that their feelings were little more than “easy come, easy go.”
Society often bases its values on the opinions of the least-qualified voices—those of the entertainment industry. One such “voice,” Madonna, a famous pop icon, said, “The most important thing is to have love…that happens with a marriage, without a marriage, with a single parent, whatever.” What does this statement really say—other than give license for people to define love any way they wish?
Then there are those who want to hear what the “experts” say. Here is one example:
“What is love? Is it the same as lust? Tough question. There are many different kinds of love—romantic, parental, platonic. Mostly, love is feeling emotionally attached to another person. You want to be close to that person. You want to share things with her, understand her and have her understand you. You want to care for her and have her care for you. Romantic love usually comes with a strong physical or sexual attraction. You want to hold, touch and sometimes become sexual with that person.
“Lust is physical attraction. Lust can sometimes turn into love. Often, when two people are first getting together, they have a really strong physical connection. When two people fall in love, lust may fade over time but it is replaced with a deeper, more intimate emotional connection.
“When you’re falling in love, it’s often tough to tell the difference between the two. Usually, time tells.”
This definition certainly sounds nice. Everyone wants to be close, to share, to understand and to care for another person. All of this appeals to the listener or reader because many of these are good qualities. But the “experts” remain terribly confused about the exact definition of true love. As a result, they offer opinions that are a mix of right and wrong.
We see these explanations of “love” throughout society. For example, look at the scenarios in so-called “romantic comedies.” Many feel warm and happy when seeing typical “romance” between couples. No matter how skewed the Hollywood picture may be, it makes people dream of true love when the leading man tells the leading lady that he wants to be “close to her, understand her and care for her.”
This idea of love is a classic mixture of good and evil. Remember, Adam and Eve chose the knowledge of good and evil. The kind of good described in this way of life, however, is primarily selfish. People generally do good things because they expect something in return. In short, they give to get.
God’s way of life is different—it is selfless!
Recognize that Satan’s goal is to make his counterfeit seem right—feel right—seem and feel natural. However, close scrutiny will expose the counterfeit—the common misconceptions—and lead you to understand true love.
Infatuation
Of course, many speak of finding “true love.” Though opinions abound as to what it is, virtually all people would say that they are seeking this. Sadly, many spend entire lifetimes looking for true love but never finding it. You have probably heard the question, “Is it love or infatuation?” The fact is that most do not understand the difference. Why? Society is missing the vital dimension of knowledge that would make it clear to them.
Do you understand what true love is? Or, are you willing to accept the fact that the world and your own nature have conditioned you to only think you do? Remember that what seems right can lead to disaster (Prov. 14:12; 16:25)!
The difference between true love and infatuation requires honest examination.
Let’s begin with the definition of infatuation. It comes from the French word “fatuus,” meaning fool—or foolishness! Webster’s Dictionary defines it as: “To make foolish; to affect with folly; to weaken the intellectual power of; or to deprive of sound judgment.”
Therefore, in one sense, people who have become infatuated might be considered fools! However, few would admit that the choices they make are foolish, and fewer still would ever consider themselves to be fools.
Why? Because they ignore the signs of infatuation. Actually, they do not even see them, because they are caught up in the feelings of infatuation, which usually begins with a “crush” or “puppy love.” Tragically, parents often promote this, thinking childhood boyfriends and girlfriends are cute, and encourage pairing off, starting with young children. This is dangerous thinking, often ingrained into children beginning as early as kindergarten!
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