Foreign McDonald’s Menu Items

One of the great things about globalization is that no matter where you go, you can always find a piece of familiar Americana there to protect your senses from all the foreign devilry going on around you. Nowhere has it ever been more evident than with fast food joints. Today McDonald’s restaurants can be found in the deepest, darkest corners of the planet, making sure American tourists never open themselves to new tastes and experiences. Or rather, you hope that it’d be the case. Sadly, nowadays McD’s have forgotten their proud roots and embraced new cuisines and cultures driven by ridiculous things such as market penetration, common sense and profits. This produced a bunch of unfamiliar, international McMenu items like:

1. McWedding

From: Hong Kong

Yeah, noticed how this article wasn’t titled the Top 10 Foreign McDonald’s Sandwiches? Hell, even if it was, I would still totally mention this thing because… No, seriously, McDonald’s offers weddings in Hong Kong! What the what? Oh Boy, I know what this is, I died and went to Hack Comedian Heaven where easy targets like this actually exist. Dammit, I bet I died on the toilet too…

Anyway, yeah, McWeddings.

Two things that we have to make clear are that McDonald’s restaurants have a generally better image in Asia than in the West and that weddings there are also insanely expensive. Put two and two together and you end up with the McWedding instead of four (that’s the magic power of Asian math, which is better than white people math). The wedding receptions offered by McDonald’s take place in one of their restaurants as the couple and their guests feast on burgers, fries and shakes. Stacks of apple pie act as the cake. No, really.

2. Gallo Pinto

From: Costa Rica

Not everything has the honor to be called your national dish. Every food item with a claim to such a title has to be rooted deeply in the history and culture of the country it comes from, capturing its essence inside one, tasty, edible package which should be treated with the respect it deserves. Then there’s Gallo Pinto, Costa Rica’s national dish which you can get at their local McDonald’s.

The dish itself is very simple. Basically, it’s fried rice and beans, eaten primarily for breakfast. The McD version is also served with scrambled eggs and sour cream. Man, who said that national heritage cannot be streamlined, packaged and distributed by a multinational conglomerate? Actually it was me, but what I really said is that it “shouldn’t be.”

3. McLaks