We’ve all done it, to a degree. Some only briefly, while others develop a habit of sorts. What am I talking about? To commit the relationship “sin” of being controlling and obsessive toward your boyfriend or girlfriend. Perhaps this particular “sin” is why you now find yourself single.
This behaviour often begins to take shape around the short to mid-term stages of dating, right at the point where you find yourself most “in-love” and the happiest you’ve ever been. A common sign is that you’ll spend as much time together as damn near possible. Outsiders will look in and think, “yuck!” although I’m sure they, too, have been where you are, or will do. But I digress. The issue is this; the thought of losing him or her, perhaps to another, terrifies you so completely that you lose all sense of proportion (and sometimes dignity, too.)
That’s When The Monster Takes Hold…
It is quite probable that, at this point, your focus on the world got real narrow, and almost exclusively fixated on your (now ex) partner. You may not have realized it, but he or she became your whole world and, as hard as this is to accept, in your obsession youtraded in all sense of perspective. In a sense, you became a different version of yourself.
If I were a betting man, I’d wager that you soon developed unhealthy “notions” about your ex, and other people around you. And unfortunately, it’s quite likely you saw things that were not really there, almost as though your rational mind took frequent short-breaks. For example, you might be out together, say clubbing, but you won’t like how other guys or girls are looking at your ex. You hate that they might see what you do, or that they are “undressing your ex with their eyes,” flirting…and wait, is your ex encouraging it? Ah…maybe, maybe not.
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