Life As We Know It, I Think...

The last couple of days have moved much like a fly in the thick smog of an Aqua Net cloud-sort of dazed, very confused, and constricting pain that grips the entire soul.  It is such a flood of horrible emotions that I personally would not wish even my worst enemy the chance to know.  The one little person for whom I would stand boldly in front of impending death, who has been a permanent driving force in my life for the past 4 years, and the one smiling little face I see every morning, noon, and night--both good days and somewhat cranky days has become the quiet peace in the middle of a bitter war.  A clueless, loving little man confused as to why he hasn't seen his "Dad, ty-wer, and hammer" for so long.  Haunting me with pleas to call or just "stop by".  Exposing me with two horrific options--lie, and tell him they have gone out of town or they are working or tell him the truth.  I, as of yet, mutter something about a popcicle and quickly move his focus