Love Match And Arranged Marriage 

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7 love lessons from married couples

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Everyone knows someone who met their sweetie online, right? So why not rev up your love life in the same way? To get you started, we asked some of our Success Story couples who met on Match.com to offer up their best love advice. Why? Because clearly they did something right when they went online. Read on, then try their proven strategies for yourself… your love life will thank you for making these love resolutions!

1. “I will be proactive in my searching”

Success Couple: David, 43, and Tina, 39, Brooklyn, NY; married May 25, 2003
“Match.com was a great help to me in finding a lifelong partner, but the larger lesson is that I ‘put it out there.’ Instead of hoping that someone special would just suddenly appear, I asked people if they knew of anyone who might be a good match for me and I actively searched for her online. My goal at the time was to try and make two new connections per week. When Tina and I found each other on Match.com, I absolutely believe it was because I was actively looking for her. I suppose it’s no coincidence that I was a corporate recruiter, a.k.a. ‘headhunter’ at the time, so my ‘search’ skills were in excellent shape!”
– David

Lesson learned: Don’t just expect matches to find you! The most successful online daters know how to search (and wink, and IM) well. In other words, spend some time this new year seriously searching for potential matches. And then don’t wait for them to find you in their “Who’s Viewed Me” section. Initiate contact! It’ll literally double your chances of connecting with your match because you’re taking matters into your own hands… or into your own mouse, should we say?

  

    

2. “I will tell nothing but the truth in my profile”

Success Couple: Kevin, 49, and Dana, 45, New York, NY; married July 13, 2006
“Be honest with what you write, the photos you post, and in how you portray yourself. I cannot stress enough how important it is that you accurately represent who you are. There were times that I showed up excited for a date only to discover the woman was nothing like her online persona; it was so disappointing. Fortunately, when I first met my now-wife Dana, she was exactly what she’d presented… in fact, even better! We enjoyed a three-hour dinner with nearly no lapse in conversation. I know for a fact that wouldn’t have happened is she hadn’t matched her profile. Lack of online honesty starts your relationship with lies, and that never works!”
– Kevin

Lesson learned: Keep it real! OK, so we know it’s incredibly tempting to give in to the little voice in your head that says, It won’t hurt if I shave a few years off my age or post a slightly slimmer photo. But this year, don’t do it! When it comes to online dating, honesty is truly the best policy! Why? Well, if you pretend to be you’re something you’re not online, chances are you’ll never get past a first date (because your date will catch onto your lies over that initial latte). If you’re truly looking for someone who loves the real you, then don’t be afraid to let your real self shine!

3. “I will truly identify my deal-breakers”

Success Couple: Shannon, 25, and Matthew, 29, Chicago, IL; married September 2, 2007
“First and foremost, be honest with yourself. Sometimes online you see someone who might not totally be your type or might have something that doesn’t work for you, like smoking, but you find yourself thinking, ‘OK, maybe I could make this work.’ Though being too closed-minded can backfire, you should still really listen to your gut. With so many people dating online now, you can afford to be a little choosy and specific. When I saw Michael’s profile I knew he was cute, but if the other things hadn’t lined up for us too, compatibility-wise, then I don’t think we would have clicked. Spend time this new year identifying what things are your relationship ‘must-haves.’”
– Stephanie

Lesson learned: Know what you can live with and what you can’t. Discounting someone over eye color or latest books read is just silly. But if you know you need a partner who practices your faith, is a non-smoker and lives within 10 miles, then those must-haves should factor into your searches/winks/emails. It’s vital to your online dating success that you identify your deal-breakers. Otherwise, you’ll end up wasting your time — and other people’s.