My Attempt to Find the Words to Describe What Love

Let me start by being completely, um, honest. Every once in a while, we ladies have been known to play a little fast and loose with the truth around you guys. Believe me, we do it with the purest of intentions (really!). And rather than try to change us, your best bet—for keeping your woman happy and your sanity intact—is to simply recognize what’s going on and be smooth about it. With that in mind, here are seven lies we commonly tell men, and how to handle them. Just trust me on this stuff, OK?

1. “Give me your completely honest opinion…”

Now would be a good time to fake a heart attack.

What we really mean: “Tell me what I want to hear.

What to do about it: I know, it’s confusing as hell. We say “seriously,”and “I really want the truth,” but the chances that we actually want the truth are about as good as the chances you want us to tell you that it’s OK, size really doesn’t matter. There are even times when women think we’re prepared for honesty and even then, when it comes out, it just plain sucks. So err on the side of safety (and of grateful-for-the-white-lie affection), and tell me…I’m hotter than that chick, this dress does not make my butt look big, my mom isn’t overbearing at all…and you’ll be golden.

2. “I’m fine. Really.”

Hint: if there are tissues involved, she’s probably not fine.