My Attempt to Find the Words to Describe What Love

I am the king of psyching myself out. And I have an acute fear of success. These two things result in the sabotage of a lot of would-be relationships.

This self-sabotaging is actually very common. The more serious a relationship gets, the more energy and investment you put into it, the more you risk — and fear — failure.

That fear is a defense mechanism.Despite our quest for love, we're scared of itand often try to control our feelings in an effort to minimize the chances of a broken heart.

There are a list of "rules" people use to control love and dating. Here are a few:

The Timing Must Be Right
I used to think I had to be with someone for a certain amount of time — usually six months — before I could agree to a relationship. This may have stunted something that could have been meaningful. It's not possible to control your feelings when it comes to love.

There shouldn't be a time limit or required amount of time. If it's going to happen, it's going to happen whether you like it or not.