how to kiss7

   So what is your bride is broken? What if it’s not just a difference of opinion, or how God made her, what if there is something that really needs to change?

First, consider the log in your eye verses the speck in her eye. Since we all down play our stuff, and overplay our spouses stuff, she will see the significance of your stuff as greater than you do, and the significance of her stuff as less significant than you do. Working on all your big and medium size stuff before you talk to her will make it difficult for her to deflect by pointing to something you are doing wrong.

Second, consider that while it may need to be deal with, it might not your “job” or place to do it. I’m not saying you don’t have a “right” to deal with it, but rather suggesting that you may not be the best person to do it. I would suggest a good deal of thought and prayer go into deciding if you should be the one to say something.

Third, if you should say something, make sure you choose the right time. Just jumping on it when she does it because it bothers you is understandable, but it’s a very poor way to get the results you want. Discussing it when you are both calm is important, and that may mean some time other than when it has just occurred. Some couples can flag something when it happens and go back to discuss it later – that’s great if it works in your marriage, otherwise, don’t.

If you have gotten here, and still are convinced you need to talk to her about whatever, here are a few things that can make it go better.

• Don’t accuse – this just puts her on the defensive.
• A brief recent example can help, but don’t