Friends & Lovers Relationships

Communicating is Not Optional

Part 4 of 4

Step #3 - Have a mutual, low decibel level, interactive conversation:

If you have appreciated being listened to by your partner, then the first time you both enter into a two-way conversation about your issues, it will be different than previous conversations, hopefully more on target, with an intention to work together.

No raising of voices. Be calm and collected. No "shooting or shouting matches!" It's about mutual respect.

This is also a time to ask for clarification if you did not fully understand any of your partner's comments. Do your best to reach some agreeable solutions about your top two or three issues. Do not attempt to fix all your issues in one session. You can always repeat this valubale process at another time.

When you cannot find an alternative solution that you can agree on, look for an option that is acceptable to both of you, or negotiate an agreeable compromise. Neither gets everything he/she wanted, but each gets enough to be satisfied.

Look at all options. There is never only one solution to every problem. Do your best to translate the big picture into specific actions that you can mutually agree upon. A common mistake is focusing too much on what you might lose and not enough on what you both could gain.

You will most likely need to schedule more time to talk over remaining issues as well. You also may need to schedule