Facebooking:The Love and Hate

Dating in a Facebook world? “It’s complicated!” to say the least. And a netiquette no-no can put serious strain on a new relationship—or end it all together.

We decided to bring in the expert to help us navigate the shark-infested waters of dating in a social media world. Julie Spira is an online dating, relationship and netiquette expert. She writes about looking for love in a web 2.0 world on CyberDatingExpert.com and is working on her second book, The Rules of Netiquette: How to Mind Your Manners on the Web.

No “Friending” on the First Date

It may be terribly tempting to friend request the guy you met at the bar last night—especially if his Facebook page is locked up tight. After all, how else can you spy on those old photos of him and his ex that he hasn’t gotten around to taking down yet?

But Spira says: think before you friend. Chances are, you’re not on the same digital page yet. And a virtual friendship could ruin your chances of a real life relationship.

“It’s just too soon and you aren’t in a relationship, nor are you even really dating just yet,” she says. “One of you may be dating several people at a time, while the other may be single-focused. If you become Facebook friends prematurely, your relationship may end quickly as well.”

Or it may never get off the ground at all.

“I’ve known women who have cancelled dates after receiving a Facebook friends request,” she says.