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* Arlene * helps shelters for abused women and children.

DATING AND INTIMACY DURING A TEMPORARY SEPARATION

In a recent article in The Wall Street Journal titled "To Save a Marriage, Split Up? ", Elizabeth Bernstein explores temporary separations as a way for couples to step back from their faltering relationships in order to re-evaluate them. (The article focuses on marriages, but I think it applies just as well to any committed relationship.) Rather than a preliminary step to the foregone conclusion of divorce, these temporary separations, planned out carefully between partners for a predetermined length of time and with guidelines regarding finances and child care, provide a cooling-off period with the added benefit of allowing the partners to see what life will be like without each other.

167 Comments

Seldom couple get together again after separation... Specially when they started to go on dating to another person because they can realized how life is easier without the old relationship. They will get occupied to a new coming dating and got no time enough to realøized if it is worth to go back to a misirable realationship. Good topic Arlene as always you're doing it great ^_^

21 months ago

You mean that after their seperation thats the time they will realized how much they loved each other?

21 months ago

Most couples lack the ability to communicate which is one of the things that brought them to the point of separation. Even if the couple separates to give each other time to think things over if there is no open communicate between the pair a separation is only prolonging the inevitable. This is just my opinion on the subject.

Great post.

21 months ago

@ KATHERiNE : i agree with you kath! temporary separation often Leads to a Lifetime separation.

21 months ago

great post,,,,,5*

21 months ago

nice post friend.........

21 months ago

k

21 months ago

good post

21 months ago

great post

21 months ago

nice post

21 months ago

5********

21 months ago

ITS A GREAT ONE

21 months ago

It is natural some people have that tendency to look out for another partner during their separation.

But if that doesn't work well, some of them try to get back to their previous partner.

20 months ago

Excellent post about marriage relationships - well done Arlene. One sometimes can find it hard to know what to do when in such a dilemma!

20 months ago

REALLY NICE TIPS!!!!!!!!!!!

20 months ago

great tips

20 months ago

very good post ....i like it

20 months ago

In the time of separation between you and your partner, be wiser enough and try to be his friend. Offer advices for him in the time when he needs you. Be honest with him especially if you have children so the separation could be done between you and him, so what about the children. You are their mother as well as he is their father. Do not deprive your children from the right to see and to enjoy his time with his children, and they need their father also. I know sometimes there is bad father and there is bed mother, but do not forget your children are your responsibility together, so lay your role well and be friends even in the time of your separation or divorce.

20 months ago

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20 months ago

Great tips....Arlene

20 months ago

Separation with a set of rules that improve the relationship is OK.
As an example, here are some rules:
1. Don't argue in the bedroom, there is a kitchen for it.
2. Don't think who is the leader in the family. Beter don't know it.
3. Avoid the advices of loving you mother-in-law.
4. When you are getting married, keep your eyes wide open, but once married close one eye.
5. Sex is not a good way to transmit knowleage, specially, knowleage about building a strong family.
6. Plan a family starting from the second child.
e t.c.

20 months ago

very nice blog......good one... thanks for posting....

20 months ago

nice

20 months ago

interesting

20 months ago

great and interesting

20 months ago

Great post very interesting!! Everyone should keep in mind that a relationship is a two- way deal and that working together is the ultimate key to having a great relationship... Its hard sometimes , but nothing great is easy in life!!

20 months ago

Very well done

20 months ago

Temporary separation is not the best in a relationship at all. Thanks for sharing, nice post.

20 months ago

it is presumed that separation is a transition not an end.

20 months ago

Thanks for all the comments! I would think it would be too difficult to move past having your spouse being intimate with someone else...it would most likely lead to the inevitable, which is divorce.

20 months ago

Good report
Nice information

20 months ago

Nice tips...Thanks for sharing........

20 months ago

nice post thanks for sharing

20 months ago

Great post!! My wife and I are team truck drivers which means we are stuck in a 6 x 6 box with one another for upwards of a month and a half at a time. It does get very trying but I believe we make it work and have made it work for going on 12 years by having doing our own thing at home. Once we hit the house she heads over to her cousins house and I head to the campground and we really don't see one another for about a week. When it is time to go back on the road we are glad to be back together each having missed the other...

20 months ago

nice blog post. .thnx for sharing

20 months ago

Good post..
thank you for sharing..
view my blogs too.
and keep in touch
i'm sure you will like and enjoy it.
:D

19 months ago

Indeed a good post. Going through a separation myself and I have no doubt that this is a permanent one. I know that communication in any relationship is important but one of love and marriage it is everything.

I move on alone, I have my two children from a previous marriage and I love them both.

Time heals and if a relationship is to work a separation is not the key to getting back together no more than turning off the water and expect to be rinsed off in the shower. You need to be together to work it out. You need to talk, communicate and of course want the same things.

If you don't your better off just moving on...starting fresh..... Smiles to you : ) Victor

19 months ago

Mm, relationships of any kind need work. Honesty and trust are the basis of all relationships. You can still remain friends with lost loves, I certainly have. Your piece i note has a reference at the bottom. Is this the work of this person or are you paraphrasing from it? The style of writing seems to change through the piece. Interesting piece however. Have just read something very similar, but related more in a personal way to the writer i felt. This was 'fact' than feeling i felt. esther - uk

19 months ago