May I Go To The Toilet
Little Johnny : Can I go to the toilet?
Teacher : Johnny! 'May' I go to the toilet Little Johnny : But I asked first!
Would You Like to Dance?
A guy goes up to this girl in a bar and says, "Would you like to dance?"
The girl says, "I don't like this song, but even if I did, I wouldn't dance with you."
The guy says, "I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants."
Typist
A little girl was diligently pounding away on her father's word processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he asked.
"I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."
Naukrani aur Malkin
Naukrani: "Malkin! Chote Baba Ne Cockroach Kha Lia hai."
Malkin: "Oh God! Call Doctor Fast"
Naukrani: "Aap Tension Na Lo .. Maine Chote Baba Ko BAYGON Pila dia hai."
Bacha on 1st April.
Bacha on 1st April: Mama, kitchen main naukar naukrani ko kiss kar raha hai
Mama: Main abhi jaa ke unhain theek karti hoon.
Bacha: Ha ha ha April fool! "Woh toh papa hain."
Mera dost ghar aa raha hai...
Boy: mom, aaj mera dost ghar AA raha hai….
ghar ke sab khilone chhupa de.
Mom: tera dost chor hai kya?
Boy: nahin, who apne khilone pahechan lega.
Nutrition
Ek 10 saal ka bachha bahot dhyan se ek book pad raha tha, jiska title tha: “Kids ka paalan poshan kaise kare”.
Mother: Tum yeh book kyon pad rahe ho.
Kid: Main yeh dekhna chahta hoon ke mera paalan poshan theek tara se ho raha hai ya nahi.
Woo cool reply
A babe was standing at a bus stop. A boy walking along remarked, chand to raat ko nikalta hai, aaj din mein kaise nikal aaya?
The girl replied with a smile ulloo to raat ko bolta hai, aaj din mein kaise bol raha hai?
Grandpa commits suicide
A boy comes running into the kitchen and says, "Mommy, mommy! Grandpa hanged himself in the living room!"
His mother runs into the living room, and sees no one there. Angrily, she says, "Listen. You should never lie like that to me again, do you understand!?!"
"I'm sorry," says the boy. "I was just kidding. He hanged himself in the basement."
Blood Test
Two children were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying very loudly.
2nd Child: Why are you crying?
1st Child: I came here for a blood test.
2nd Child: So? Are you afraid?
1st Child: No. For the blood test, they cut my finger.
At this, the second one started crying profusely.
The first one was astonished.
1st Child: Why are you crying now?
2nd Child: I came for a urine test
This is not fair
Teacher asked to a student,”Rony if 2 & 2 makes four how is 4 & 4 ?”
Student replied, “This is not fair teacher, you always do the easy ones and leave the hard ones for me.”
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