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Arbab Ahmad helps fight Kidney Disease.

Animal Jokes

by Power User Arbab Ahmad on February 28, 2011
Keeping hopes may not improve your future,

Ek Gadha : Yaar mera Malik mujhe bohot marta hai

Doosra Gadha : To tu bhaag kyun nahin jaata ?

Pehla Gadha : Bhaag to jaata... Par yahan future bright hai... Malik ki khoobsurat beti jab shararat karti hai to malik kehta hai "Teri Shaadi Gadhey se kar doonga"
Bas issi umeed mein betha hoon.

MORAL : Keeping hopes may not improve your future, but it will certainly reduce the pain of today.

5 animals living in water

Aman To Chaman: Tell Me 5 Animals Living In Water?

Aman: Chamman: Fish, Chaman: Thik Ha Aur Chaar?

Aman: Fish Ke Brother, Sister Father And Mother

Parrot in Jail

Ek baar ek Totaa (Bole to Parrot) Ud raha tha full speed par.

Uske saamne achanak full speed mein ek Ferrari aa rahi thi, dono ki takkar hui…

Totaa behosh hoga ya, raste mein ek bhikari tha usne Totaa ko uthaya aur ghar le gaya.

Usko marham lagaya aur pinjare mein rakh diya.

Jab Totaa ko hosh aaya, usne apne aap ko pinjare mein dekha.

Aur bola, “Aalia … JAIL …. Woh Ferrari ka driver mar gaya kya ??

Two cockroaches sitting in washroon

Two cockroaches sitting in washroon eating potty.

One said to other: Yaar mujhe potty aa rahe hai.

Other said: Yaar khane ke time pe to aise batain mat kiya karo.

Another reindeer

Teacher: Is Lapland heavily populated?

Class: No, there are not many Lapps to the mile!

Teacher: Name an animal that lives in Lapland!
Pupil: A reindeer

Teacher: Good, now name another.
Class: Another reindeer!

The crab who bit Fred's toe

DAD: How did you enjoy your school trip to the seaside, son?
FRED: OK, Dad, but a crab bit my toe.

DAD: Which one?

FRED: Dunno. All crabs look alike to me.

Talking Cow

A man's car stalled on a country road one morning.

When the man got out to fix it, a cow came along and stopped beside him.

"Your trouble is probably in the carburetor," said the cow.

Startled, the man jumped back and ran down the road until he met a farmer.

The amazed man told the farmer his story.

"Was it a large red cow with a brown spot over the right eye?" asked the farmer.

"Yes, yes," the man replied.

"Oh! I wouldn't listen to Bessie," said the farmer. "She doesn't know a thing about cars."

Good Memory

An big Elephant is drinking out of a river when he spots a turtle asleep on a log. The elephant ambles over and kicks the unsuspecting turtle clear across the river.
"Why did you do that?" asks a passing giraffe.

"Because I recognized it as the same turtle that took a nip out of my trunk 47 years ago."

"Wow, what a memory!" says the giraffe.

"Yes," says the elephant. "Turtle recall."

Are We Poisonous?

Two snakes were out taking a stroll when the son snake turns to the mother snake and asks: "Mommy! Are we poisonous?"

"Why, yes we are", says the second.

Again the baby snake asks, "Are you sure we're poisonous?"

"Yes, we are very poisonous."

The baby snake becomes very upset. Again, he asks, "Are we really really poisonous?"

"Yes we are really really poisonous. In fact we're the most poisonous snakes in the world. Why do you ask?"

"I just bit my lip!!!"

Stress Reliver 11

Man to wife on wedding night: "Are you sure I'm the first man you are sleeping with ? "

Wife replied: " Of course honey, I stayed awake with all the others !"

Fourth Husband

A woman announces to her friend that she is getting married for the fourth time.
"How wonderful! But I hope you don't mind me asking what happened to your first husband?"

"He ate poisonous mushrooms and died."

"Oh, how tragic! What about your second husband?"

"He ate poisonous mushrooms too and died."

"Oh, how terrible! I'm almost afraid to ask you about your third husband."

"He died of a broken neck."

"A broken neck?"

"He wouldn't eat the mushrooms."

A Snake's New Glasses

A old snake goes to see his Doctor.

"Doc, I need something for my eyes...can't see well these days".
The Doc fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2 weeks.

The snake comes back in 2 weeks and tells the doctor he's very depressed.

Doc says, "What's the problem...didn't the glasses help you?"

"The glasses are fine doc, I just discovered I've been living with a water hose the past 2 years!"

Ant and Elephant have romance

An ant and an elephant share a night of romance. The next morning the ant wakes up and the elephant is dead. "Oh No!" says the ant. "One night of passion and I will spend the rest of my life digging a grave!"

Oh Deer!

What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea!

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no idea!

What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs and is on fire?
Still no flaming idea!

Jumpin’ Funny

A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could jump high, the zoo officials put up a ten-foot fence.
But he was out the next morning, just roaming around the zoo.

The next day, a twenty-foot fence was put up. Again he got out.

When the fence was forty feet high, a camel in the next enclosure asked the kangaroo, “How high do you think they’ll go?”

The

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