My Funny Collection

I never made a mistake in my life; at least, never one that I couldn't explain away afterwards.
- Rudyard Kipling

If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either.
- Dick Cavett

In the first place God made idiots; that was for practice; then he made school boards.
- Mark Twain

Do not worry about your problems with mathematics, I assure you mine are far greater.
- Albert Einstein

Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
- Voltaire

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde

Never insult an alligator until after you have crossed the river.
- Cordel Hull

I can resist everything except temptation.