What is LOVE..& WHY IT IS?

As you've probably found in your own life, being "in love" doesn't necessarily mean you've found true, long-lasting love. Ideally, falling in love leads to long-lasting love, but most often that doesn't happen. Let's look at what's involved with being "in love" first, and then I'll come back to "True Love" below.

Falling In Love

Recent studies on love have come up with a revealing insight into the "in love" feeling. The studies found that:

In order to be in love, a person has to have their love returned somewhat, but not altogether, while having reason to hope that their love will be returned totally at some time in the future.

 

This discovery explains some of the most ancient and perplexing riddles of romantic relationships, such as why "playing hard to get" works, why "absence makes the heart grow fonder," and why being in love is different than long- lasting love.

It explains why men and women who treat the opposite sex with indifference are so popular. Why the person you don't really care that much about is the one who's mad for you, and the one you're dying for is not.

If you're indifferent to someone, you give them little dribs and drabs of attention out of boredom or pity, right? Now we know that's precisely the formula for keeping someone in love with you. Of course, acting indifferent is easy when you don't care. The hard part is acting indifferent when you do care a lot.

The new research findings help explain another key element of the "in love" feeling. We've known for a long time that fantasy is one of the most important ingredients of love. A person in love has what pyschologists call "aggrandizing" fantasies about the one they love.

Ask anyone who's in love to tell you about their beloved, and you'll hear about someone too wonderful to be true. You smile, reminded of the old expression, "love is blind." The old expression is true because everyone in love has a fantasized image of the person they love.