Stuff to share with friends

If your BFF makes Paris Hilton look like a nun, read on. When a chick you’re close to is on a collision course, you don’t want to go down with her.

These days, you can’t pick up a magazine or read a gossip column without coming across a story about some self-sabotaging celeb. Seriously, how many sequels of Paris Hilton’s love making tapes have to slip out before she gets a clue and stops making them? How many parties must Tara Reid stumble through before she realizes her party-girl ways might be affecting her career? And Courtney Love... where do we even begin with her?

The whole world gets to watch while these stars crash and burn, but they aren’t the only ones who lose it. Perhaps you have a “fun” friend. She may be someone you’ve known forever and has recently started an anarchic wild-child phase. Or perhaps she’s a newish pal, a temporarily refreshing good-time girl who rips it up like a rock star, who care about tomorrow? Yeah, she’s a whole lot of fun to hang out with, but inevitably, she makes some stupid decisions that flop and then she expects you to bail her out. Slowly but surely, she’s driving you insane with her drama and bringing you along on her downward trajectory by siphoning your time and energy...and maybe even ruining your rep.

So what causes someone to spin out of control? “If a person believes deep down that she doesn’t deserve to be happy or successful, she unconsciously does self-destructive things to undermine her success,” says psychotherapist Martha Baldwin Beveridge, author of Self-Sabotage. “This feeling of self-loathing and penchant for acting like an idiot can stem from long-standing low self-esteem, a need for attention, or a sudden emotional nosedive because of a recent breakup or some other trauma.

Regardless of what the reason is, when someone you really care about is free-falling, the problem truly becomes yours. The big question is how do you deal? Here, we’ll tell you.

 Okay, she’s your friend and you don’t want to desert her in her time of need. But you sure as heck don’t want to be sitting next to her at the bar when she instigates a big brawl. So how do you save yourself without losing your sidekick? First, change your hang-out venue. In other words, find stuff to do that you both enjoy but where she can’t indulge her weakness.