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Casper, Wyoming 

David James Palmer was detained and searched in front Kelly Walsh High School after his suspicious behaviour garnered the attention of a passing police officer. Palmer, a 16-year-old drop-out, did his best to talk his way out of the situation, but when the officer found an ounce of marijuana divided into several smaller bags that made it obvious that Palmer had been dealing the drug in a school zone, he uttered the absolutely most ridiculously perfect sentence any Stupid Criminal Drug Dealer could ever say: "It's not mine. I'm selling it!"

Modesto, California

Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket.

Winthrop Harbor, Illinois: Suspended Driver Arrests 

On 7/19/04 at 01:27 A.M., an Officer inside the police department heard somebody beeping a horn outside. Upon going outside, the Officer saw two occupied vehicles in the parking lot. One person stated the other vehicle was chasing them. It was reported there was a minor traffic accident happened, but no damage was found to either vehicle. Both drivers were arrested for driving suspended. Cecil R. Ezell, 39 of Winthrop Harbor, and Jesse T. Body, 33 of Zion were both charged with driving suspended and given August 12th court dates and released.

Winthrop Harbor Police Dept., July 19, 2004

Janesville, Wisconsin: Thief picked wrong item to steal

Police say tracking this thief was a snap. The loot was a computerized tracking device that uses the global positioning system and Internet technology to keep track of jail prisoners on home detention.

"He apparently didn't know what he had because he would be awfully stupid to steal a tracking device," said correctional officer Thomas Roth, who runs the home detention program at the Rock County Jail.

The $2,500 device was temporarily placed outside a home by a woman serving home detention. The device, which is a little bigger than a brick in size, has a built-in GPS satellite receiver. Prisoners wear a transmitter about as big as a cigarette pack on the ankle, and it acts as a 100-foot tether to the portable tracking device.

By the time the prisoner called to report the theft Monday night, the device had automatically notified the jail that it had been taken outside the prisoner's home area. Roth then tracked the device through the Internet on his home computer. A trail of electronic dots led authorities to an apartment building.

Lem Lom, 40, of Janesville was arrested as he left the building. He was charged with theft.

Associated Press, October 30, 2003