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People-pleasing is a strong trait of the youth.
In our younger years, we can’t wait to fit in with people that we admire.
And in the course of doing that, we don’t mind changing a wee bit of our personality just to appear *cooler* in front of others.
But how far would you go to please someone else?
And what would you be willing to give up just to make others happy?
And most importantly, does this youthful trait exist within you even now?
Who is a people pleaser?
A people pleaser is a person who gives a lot of importance to pleasing others. And in the process, their primary intention is to be liked and appreciated in return by the people they try to please.
A people pleaser is never a bad person.
They’re not really manipulative, nor are they cheaters. But in their keen pursuit of trying to please everyone around them, they could go to any extent to win someone’s love or affection, even if that means arm twisting someone or subtly manipulating someone else.
Now everyone has a tinge of people pleasing in them.
Almost all of us try to please someone, in the hope of getting a favor back in return from them someday.
But for most of us, we know where to draw the line.
The kinds of people pleasers
There are two kinds of people pleasers.
The first people pleaser is the kind where they go out of their way to be nice or help others, because they feel like it’s their moral obligation to help others. They can’t say no, and they’re terribly afraid of offending others.
The other kind of people pleaser is the kind where they try to help someone all the time or constantly compliment others, in the hope of getting the same treatment back from their friends.
In both these types, the underlying reason is the same, low self confidence and low self esteem. People pleasers need others in their lives because they’re terribly scared of being alone. They need attention and care, and will do anything or say anything to get it.
Is people pleasing really bad?
People pleasing is not bad. All of us kiss ass now and then to get what we want, or to be nice to someone we want to impress.
But there’s a thin line differentiating someone who pleases with a motive now and then, and someone who does it all the time.
And one fine day, when your people pleasing attitude crosses the line, either all your friends will take you for granted and use you, or they’ll see the fake you really are and start avoiding you.The biggest problem with people pleasers is the fact that they have no principles in life. They change like a chameleon all the time, and become a completely different person depending on who they’re spending
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