Love Or Control

What Would You Choose ?

In today's relationships what is often classed as love is nothing more than control. The desire to control another person and their behavior then becomes more important than it is to love and honor the other person.

The question is: what would make a person want to control another? If they truly loved them wouldn't they want them to be free and to do what was best for them?

Love

The love I am talking about here can be what one expresses to family and friends for example. Although it can be based on a sexual attraction to another person, it doesn't have to be. I would describe it as a respect for another's boundaries, needs and wants.

This involves honoring the other person as much as one would honor themselves and to recognize that they are separate.

Control

Control on the other hand is about using another person to fulfill ones needs.

Having other people fulfill ones needs is not dysfunctional per se; it is part of life. What is dysfunctional is having another person fulfill ones needs in a way that compromises the other person and goes against their wishes.

This means that the other person is not in agreement with what is happening and they are being taken advantage of. The other person is then being abused.

Where Does This Come From?

As we look at these scenarios, we can see that it is a dysfunctional way of being. However, this behavior doesn't just occur, it had to be learnt from somewhere and someone.

This takes our attention back to the childhood environment. What happens during this time goes a long way to defining how one will perceive love and their level of psychological health.

Marriage Was Not Designed

Marriage was not designed to make you happy, satisfied, or whole. If you go into it for any of the aforementioned reasons, you’re in for a rude awakening.

First let me preface this post by saying that I in no way claim to be an expert on marriage. My husband and I have been married a little under four years and we’re still learning a lot of things about being married. If you want expert advice, talk to someone who’s been at this for decades (and let me listen in). I can only share what I’ve learned so far. Further, I assure you that, despite the tone of this post, I really love being married. However, I don’t want people to be delusional about what marriage is or is not. So let me share with you what marriage cannot do.

Marriage cannot make you happy.

I think it’s safe to say that many people who want to be married think that marriage will make them happy, but I maintain that’s just not true. We’ve all grown up with the fairy tales where the princess finds a prince, gets married, and lives “happily ever after.” Simply put, nothing can “make” you happy. Absolutely nothing. Happiness is a personal choice and is not contingent upon one’s circumstances. There are plenty of happy poor folks and

Feellings Good Your Husband Wants to Know

Parenting Magazine shared 6 things your hubby may not want to tell you but is often feeling, at least according to one guy’s opinion. Check outthe article for the full explanation, but here’s a short synopsis for you:

1.      I want to cuddle. He may be as surprised as you that he enjoys this bonding time, but cuddling can be a relief after a difficult day, even if sex isn’t happening—although they’d prefer it be happening, too.

2.      Initiate in bed. Husbands often tire of always having to initiate, and feeling that sex is a chore on your list. Increasing your interest and surprising him by initiating go a long way toward making him feel loved.

Falling in Love is Easy : but Difficult to Maintaining

As per our mythological scripture, God created a Man (Adam). Man was alone for a time, became frustrated. There was no one for him to identify with. To identify with him physically and psychologically, God created a woman as man’s companion. Slowly tremendous longing to be together was born between Man and Woman. They felt incomplete without each other. With the fleeting time, the euphoric feeling of being attracted to each other was named as Love and Love became the integral part of our existence.

And then with the evolution of Man Kind, Human became selfish and self centered. Alternate views on Love, Grabbing and holding mentality, and identity crisis started to take place and created conflict between Man and Woman. Loving and being loved for long time turned out to be complex.

However today, love is stimulated by the waves of infatuation. By putting little extra efforts, you can compel others to fall for you. But as and when the real persona of an individual surfaces, we get upset. When other’s behavior doesn’t match with our expectations, we feet a bump. When we don’t see our dreams coming true, frustration steals our happiness. The waves of infatuation fall apart. Our Love starts disappointing us. Instead of bond, disagreement gets into

Everyday Romantic

Romantic Ideas For Keeping The Magic Alive

Perhaps you just want to show her how much you really do care about her, or you screwed up somehow. Perhaps you do not have a romantic bone in your body. Here are some tips for bringing the romance back, or into, your life. The little things you do for her are lasting memories she will treasure forever.

• Make a balloon bouquet with love notes or poems inside. Have her pop one everyday to show how much you love her.

• Write a love poem. There are plenty of hubs on here with awesome poets. However, do not say you wrote it yourself, unless you did.
  
• Make her breakfast in bed.
• Surprise her at work or at a friends house by having roses delivered. Women pretend they do not like that but secretly they are glad you showed them, in front of the whole world, how much you love them.
  
• Give her a massage. I like using sensual massage oils and lighting a room full of candles for that romantic thouch.
  
• Write a love note treasure map. Write little pieces of how much you love