Tips To Avoid Being An Obsessive Girlfriend

Until a few days back, you seemed to be the center of your boyfriend’s attention but now he seems to be distant and aloof. You felt that you will lose him to other girls if you don’t express your love every now and then. So you made every effort to tell him how much you need him and love him, but the words have now started having an opposite effect on him. All I can say is, there are huge chances that you are unintentionally chasing after your boyfriend and that may actually push him further away from you.
Let Him Call You First
Stop being desperate all the time to hear his voice. It is completely a bad idea to call him 10 times a day to check on his every move. He would get a feeling that you are playing a detective by keeping a track of his schedule. Moreover, men are attracted to interesting and independent girls. Calling him repeatedly would give him the impression that you have no other important work. This is one of the biggest turnoffs for men.

Stop Repeated Gifts and Messages
Stop sending flowers, gifts, greeting cards, messages repeatedly to your boyfriend. It may make him feel like you wish to win his love by showering gifts. A side effect of such gifting might be that he will assume that you are needy.

Stop Asking about His Feelings
Do not expect your

Romance at a Glance

Romantic Ideas
Especially for Him
Especially for Her
Gift Ideas
Gift Presentation
Date Ideas
Anniversary Ideas
Valentine's Day Ideas
Christmas Ideas
Romantic Quotes
"I love you" in other languages


Romantic Ideas

Carve your initials in a tree in your yard.

I bought a tear-off (day by day) calendar for my (then) fiance (now husband). It had a short quote for each day, and I wrote messages to him for each day as well. Sometimes it was a verse, or I read the quote or saying for the day, and wrote how he was doing in those areas, or just told him things I love about him. He looked forward to the new messages every day and has saved the pages of the calendar in his special memory box (which is romance to me!). It wouldn't have to be done for every day, messages every once in a while are romantic -- on a pretty practical gift! - submitted by Cindy T.

Create your own personal holiday (the anniversary of when you knew you were in love or just "Our Day").

Do a chore for your spouse (yes, this can be romantic, especially if your spouse is the practical sort).

Give your spouse an all over massage.

Turn off your TV (and computer) and spend the evening talking or cuddling.

Leave a small love message spelled out with jelly beans, legos or whatever you have on hand.

Make up hand signals that means something personal or romantic (like tugging your left ear lobe means "I love you" or tapping the back of your spouse's handmeans "let's find a little privacy").

Kiss your spouse while waiting for the stoplight to change.

Write little love messages on sticky notes and put them all over your spouses car, favorite chair of computer center.

Have a wrestling match or pillow fight and let your spouse win (of course, you are the prize).

Read aloud to each other before bedtime (maybe a couple's devotional?).

Declare "Wife or Husband Appreciation Day."

Have a small love message engraved on his/her keychain.

Send an e-card.

You can use dry erase markers on the bathroom mirror to leave a message for your spouse (I used to use lipstick). The markers make for easier cleanup and a more colorful message (I purchased a package of 4 colored markers). - submitted by Rhonda L.

Invite your spouse to play strip poker, Uno or Scrabble (rules may vary).

If you have a spouse that travels alone, get a copy of the itinerary and contact the hotel in advance asking them to deliver flowers or a note to the room. You might get referred to a local florist by the hotel as they may not provide that service. One time I ordered a bottle of wine for my wife to be chilled in her room when she arrived. (submitted anonymously)

Create a spa experience at home. Plan a weekend filled with spa-type treatments, bubble bath, manicure, pedicure, therapeutic massage. Decorate the house with streamers, balloons, etc. Prepare gourmet meals, or have them brought in, along with favorite beverages. Pamper your spouse continuously for the entire time. End the weekend with a shopping expedition for favorite items (e.g., clothes, sporting goods, household accessories) and dinner at a fine dining establishment. (submitted by Keith S.)

Pack his lunch everday. Food always tastes better when someone else has fixed it. (submitted by Tracy M.)

Drive by the place where he or she works and leave a note in their car. (submitted by Tim M.)

When eating popcorn (usually while viewing a movie), feed it to each other. After awhile, hold one piece between your teeth, and the other can bite half of it off, creating a "popcorn kiss." (submitted by J.E.C.)

Sing a love song that you've made up yourself. It doesn't matter if you sound silly, because laughter is sexy. I often make up my own words to popular lullabys or children's tunes. This works especially well when my husband is in a bad mood.

This article WAS written primarily by Paul; it's a male look at how men view love, and it's rather blunt. So buckle up and hang on!

It is becoming increasingly common to hear of women who want love more often than their husband does. In part, this is the result of a greater willingness to speak up about the problem, but there are other factors at play. Due to things ranging from stress to obesity to internet porn, a growing number of men are less interested in love, less able to have love, or unable to be aroused by their wife as they should.

There is one other cause of these problems that needs to be noted before we move on. If there is a significant ongoing problem between you and your husband, this can also harm his desire/ability to be sexual with you. Hurt feelings may continue even after something is resolved or buried, so past problems could be an issue too. If he feels you take him for grated, don't respect him, or expect unreasonable things from him, his sexual interest in you will be effected. If any of these are at play, the ideas here are a bandage on a lost limb – deal with the problem first, and then apply the ideas here if his sex drive does not return.

The reasons for a lack of male sex drive are many, and a checklist of sorts can be found in our Lack of Desire article. The purpose of this article is to give frustrated wives some practical ideas that may help them entice their husband to have more sex. If your husband is afraid that his sex drive makes him a monster, suffers from sexual guilt, or is concerned you don't really want or enjoy sex, these suggestions should either get him past his hang up, or create a crisis that will bring the hang-up to light. If your husband is suffering from a low sex drive, or is just too busy, these ideas may be effective. If your husband has fed on porn to the point he can’t be aroused by a real woman (any real woman, not just you), these ideas will likely not be of much help.

If these ideas don't help, you may have a serious problem, and it's probably time to seek help. Please note that sexual problems can be a warning sign of significant health issues; his primary care doctor needs to know about any change in desire or sexual function – it could literally save his life.

Because men have a wide variety of likes and dislikes, and a wide variety of sexual baggage, you should pick and choose from the things suggested here. However, don't assume you know what he will like, and don't assume his first reaction to something reveals his true feelings. If you want to precipitate a change, you're going to have to be bold and take some risks.

The male brain is wired a certain way when it comes to sex, and regardless of how strong or weak a man's drive is, his basic sexual wiring is the same. In a nutshell men like to see sex organs (breasts and genitals), and like to see those parts doing something.  Men also like variety. The idea here is for a woman to learn how to use these things to arouse her husband.

Before we start, you need to ditch any worries you have about not looking good, or being able to arouse your husband visually. First, realize that most women are far more attractive than they think. Second, realize that most men are not as into sexual perfection as you think. The looks of the average centrefold or porn star are icing on a cardboard cake. If you are going to look at a two dimensional image of something you can't have, you care about every little detail; but when you are having real sex with a real woman those things are not important. Third, realize that men are practical, the wife you have is better than the woman you don't have. To be blunt ladies, it's not what you've got, it's how you use and display what you've got. A woman who is overweight, flat as a board, or otherwise not up to some worldly standard of sexy, can easily drive her husband crazy with lust (it's okay for him to lust for you) if she knows how to do it. The biggest block to making this work is worrying about looking or acting silly. You have nothing to lose, so abandon shame and embarrassment, get in there, and turn your man on!

Don't wait until you want sex to start turning him on. For men arousal is a cumulative thing. Get a man turned on then walk away, and his conscious awareness of his arousal will fade, but his body and his mind have been primed. The next time he is aroused the response will be faster and stronger. Plan ahead, and work him up off and on over time rather than trying to get him going all at once.

All that said, here are a number of ideas. In some sections, I have listed a number of similar ideas to try to help you understand how his mind works. Once you understand his sexual mind, you will be able to come up with your own ideas.

Show him or make him think about your body:

• Lift your skirt for a couple of seconds to show him sexy panties, or no panties.
• Tell him that you are not wearing any panties. Whispering this to him in public is especially good.
• Go to the bathroom, remove your panties, and hand them to him when you come out. Again, this works especially well in public (be discreet).
• Buy (or make) panties that tie on the sides - you can untie and remove them discreetly.
• While in the car, remove your bra from under your clothes.
• In the car, lift your skirt or dress up high on your leg. When stopped at a light and sure no one can see, put his hand between your legs. A dress or skirt with buttons down the

There are a number of reasons a person might lack sexual desire for their spouse. When you consider that sexual desire starts with what happens between your ears and then is greatly influenced by the marriage relationship itself, it is understandable that most of what is going to stall desire will be personal or relational in nature. There are, of course, some physical problems that can affect sexual desire too.

The following list can be used to identify problems or potential problems.

poor self image, poor sexual self image, inhibitions - Our culture and, sadly, the church have played havoc with how we see ourselves and our sexuality. Feeling bad about how we look or how we might perform sexually can fill some with dread that steals sex drive. Being ashamed of our body, or feeling one part of it is too small or strange looking, is counterproductive to sexual desire.

fear of intimacy - wounds from past relationships can be carried into present ones, making it difficult to desire intimacy and oneness. Men may fear intimacy because they think it's "weak" or unmanly.

childhood sexual abuse, molestation, rape - In order to dull the pain, fear and shame associated with a previous sexual experience(s), many victims repress or fight their natural sex drive.

lack of privacy - living in close quarters with parents or (foster, natural, or step) children. This is more likely to affect women than men.

guilt from (false or genuine) sexual sin - guilt over masturbation, playing doctor, promiscuity, abortion, premarital sex with your spouse, non-marital sex before you met your spouse, viewing pornography, adultery, etc. can make approaching sex very painful. Growing up in a strict anti-sex household can make people feel guilty about normal and natural sexual thoughts and desires. Some even feel guilty about their desire for their spouse. Still others feel guilt over things they want to do with their spouse; things they themselves believe are wrong or "kinky," or believe their spouse would consider weird or sinful.

busyness, stress, anxiety - it takes a certain amount of time and relaxation to make sex work. Always being stressed out or having too much to do will eventually wear out your sex drive.