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A burglar broke into a house one night. He shone his flashlight around, looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." 

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off and froze.

 

I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse. 

I can't afford one. So, I'm wearing my garage door opener. 

I also made a cover for my hearing aid and now I have what they call blue teeth, I think.

You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn't like me anyway.

I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans!

 

Make Sure You’re Taking Your Medicine

A lot of the sickness in our world is simply because we don’t have the joy that we should. When we live uptight and on edge, it causes headaches, digestive problems, lack of energy. We don’t sleep well. Much of this would go away if we would just learn how to deal with the stress properly. One of the greatest stress relievers God has given us is laughter. Laughter is like taking medicine. It not only makes you feel better but it actually releases healing throughout your system. When we laugh it restores and rejuvenates what the pressures of life have taken out.

Proverbs 17:22 puts it like this, “A happy heart is like a good medicine and a cheerful mind works healing.” Notice, when we’re good-natured and full of joy, taking time to laugh, taking time to play, it’s like taking a good medicine. That’s what helps us to stay healthy. In fact, medical science tells us that people that laugh, it boosts their immune system. Laughter reduces blood pressure. People that laugh regularly are 40% less likely to have a heart attack than people that don’t laugh regularly. Laughter triggers the right side of the brain, which helps release creativity, helps us to make better decisions. Laughter activates the body’s natural tranquilizers that not only help us to calm down but it helps us to sleep better.

I know this one lady, she hadn’t slept well in years and years. She was constantly taking tranquilizers. She had taken them so long it hardly even affected her anymore. She had tried everything, different diets, different doctors, different medicines. Nothing seemed to work. But this one doctor gave her a very unusual prescription. He said, “Every night before you go to bed, you need to watch something funny — a funny movie, a funny video, a funny drama — something that makes you laugh.” She started doing that night after night. Month after month she got better and better. Today she is totally off her medications. She can sleep like a baby.

What happened

She was having to take man-made tranquilizers because she wasn’t releasing the natural tranquilizers that God put on the inside. Could it be that you would receive the healing you’ve been longing for if you would just lighten up and learn to laugh more often? Could it be that the headaches, backaches, migraines, chronic pain,

 

1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.

2. I don't suffer from insanity -- I enjoy every minute of it!

3. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

4. Don't take life too seriously -- no one gets out alive.

5. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

6. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

7. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

8. I'm not a complete

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