Husbands need to feel needed
"For husbands, not being able to impress your wife from time to time is like Kryptonite for Superman," says Lois Barth, a relationship and career coach based in New York City. "Just think of the movies most men love to watch: lone hero in the town against the bad guys saving the day. That hero chip is hardwired into most men - as long as we let them be." Don't rush to do the jobs you dread just to tick another item off on your to-do list - asking for help can bring you closer.
Husbands show their love through actions rather than words
Men aren't as direct in expressing their love as women, and they aren't mind readers. They want to know what women like and then give it to them. The more directly you tell him what you crave ("It makes me happy when you surprise me with dinner") the more likely you are to get it. And when he does show you a bit of what you're looking for, such as bringing you flowers, making a big deal out of it will help pave the way for repeat behavior in the future. Sure, woman appreciate romantic gestures, but being there when you need him - whether that's when your car breaks down or your aunt passes away - sometimes says more than blatant declarations of love. After all, a sweet-talking romantic is great, but a husband who doesn't bail in an emergency is even better.
Husbands care about fashion -- a little
Most guys aren't as concerned with their appearance as women are, yet would secretly appreciate some guidance in the fashion department. But if you try to change his entire wardrobe, he'll get the message that you don't like his look, and may become resentful. To work with him on his style, frame new stuff as additions to his wardrobe rather than replacements. Take the lead, but include him by asking what types of styles and stores he likes best. Even offer to arrange a day of shopping that's all about him, and set a goal - finding two shirts and two pairs of pants, for example - so he's not worried that he'll never escape the sales floor.
Husbands do best with clear, concise messages
"Many men may act like they are not listening (yes, sometimes they really aren't), but if you make a simple request or share a feeling, just let it sit rather than going into too much detail," says Barth. "Chances are that your husband will process what you're saying better if you don't bombard him with information.